Co-host Kat Frogosa and I talk about:

Busting the ADHD stereotype with quiet, sensitive women
Our own ADHD & HSP stories
The impact of being undiagnosed for decades
Unconsciously masking, being highly sensitive & our voices

A little over a year ago, I sat anxiously in a psychiatrist's office…and emerged with an ADHD diagnosis, unsurprised and a little relieved.

For years, I suspected I was neurodivergent in some way, that my brain just worked differently than others. BUT I thought of ADHDers as bold, rash, outspoken and disorganized risk takers with overflowing energy.

In other words, not me.

I was a careful, shy, sensitive overthinker who ran out of steam by the afternoon.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

What I did identify with was being a Highly Sensitive Person, and reading one of Elaine Aron’s books had me feeling so SEEN.

But it didn’t seem possible to match up the view I had of ADHD with how I saw myself as an HSP.

Until I read about masking.

Staying too quiet and being overly careful about what you say to avoid talking too much or interrupting people.

Seeming "fine" when in reality, you are struggling to keep up or maintain relationships.

Being unable to relax leading up to appointments and arriving much too early, as a way to ensure that you are not late due to time blindness.

Listening carefully and focusing too hard when someone is talking to not miss anything they say.

Excessively writing everything down so you don't forget it later.

Mimicking or copying other people in social situations so that you will be accepted.

Oh, shit. THAT’S me.

And it took almost forty years to realize this.

Four decades of masking and working extra hard to keep up, not realizing that’s what I was doing and shaming myself for not “trying harder” when I just couldn’t get myself to do something. Four decades of hiding, pretending to be like what I saw as accepted.

And I’m not alone.

There’s a surge of women being diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s, 40s and 50s. It’s been invisible in many of us because it looks different than the stereotype.